Relativity applies to physics, not ethics” – Albert Einstein. Not that I consider myself wise enough to debate Einstein’s view, but I really don’t think ethics is not relative. In general everything is relative, in my opinion. Now, this is not some theory I made up sitting at home with nothing to do but ponder upon life. I am too sleepy for that kind of thought process. It was something I learned the hardest possible way, through physical agony, psychological defeat and wet eyes.
It was a sunny day and the plan was to go around the city with my cousins on motor bikes. They had some things to do across the city and I had nothing to do at home.
Just before we started,
Cousin 1: “It is too hot and humid today.”
Me:”Hey, common. Don’t be that tender. I have lived in far humid places and never felt a thing.”
Cousin 2: “Yeah, try not to change your opinion by this evening.”
Me: Silly boy! See for yourself
Two hours later:
I was soaked from head to toe in sweat. My cousin was not to miss the chance and he retorted, “Everything is relative. You may be used to humid places but it only means that it takes a little longer for you to feel tired under the sun.”
It was time for lunch and we decided to eat at a place that was pretty much nondescript. All of us ordered fried rice. Just when the waiter was about to leave, we all shouted after him, extra spicy. We were all pretty sure we could handle spices and that this was not relative but absolute. My cousin told me that every rule had an exception and that everything was not relative. We all could eat up practically anything no matter how spicy it was. We were all men, you see.
We started eating the fried rice and soon after the third spoonful of rice I ordered the good old coca cola. It was unbearably spicy but I did not show it on my face (Ever heard of ego?). I had to find a solution and hence I ordered coke. A while later we all had finished half a bottle of coca cola each. On the other hand only a third of the rice was gone. We did not talk any more. We were staring at each other and I could see their ears go red. Yet no one spoke a word. We did not admit it was damn HOT!
Napkins were fast moving commodities on our table too. My eyes and nose leaked water with the heat. My throat was confused with the hot rice and cold coke. A gulp of the damn spicy rice and 50 ml of ice cold coca cola was making my throat go numb. My stomach made noises as it was screaming at me stop.
One of my cousins was almost crying and the other one was already half into his second bottle of coca cola. The waiter had to restock the napkins and water frequently. We could not keep our mouths closed. To dissipate the heat we all had our mouths open. We were all rolling our eyes frequently and looked as if we were about to die. Yet we did not complain about how spicy or hot it was.
Afraid he might have to deal with dead meat in a vegetarian restaurant, the owner came to our table and placed a bowl full of sugar on our table. We forgot the whole world around us and fought like serial killers for the sugar and devoured it. Once our mouths, throats and stomachs got what they needed we looked at each other and our tears gave away all the words that we had not spoken. We went mad with relief from the sugar and we started laughing looking at each other like nobody existed around us. We fell off the chairs and literally laughed rolling on the floor, partly out of relief and partly at our stupidity.
After a while we realized that everybody in the room was looking at us and we just ate up some more sugar, paid the bill and fled the place. On our way back, we all decided that we finally found a rule that had no exception. “Everything is relative.”
I know I might be wrong in saying that everything is relative, but after what happened my brain refuses to change that opinion. With all due respect, Mr. Einstein, you are so wrong!
