Sunday, February 5, 2012

I Hate Love Stories

Among all the comedies that life has to offer, the matters of the heart reign supreme. If you are thinking about clogged arteries, then you either have a twisted sense of humor or you desperately need to hit the gym. Anyway, that being the case, I should have written extensively about the many arrows that had ripped my heart apart. But, I have not done that because I am still not able to laugh it off. But to be able to deal with something, you have to be able laugh at it. So here I am, dealing with it.

Something pierced the back of my neck and I turned around to find her apologizing as a thorn of the red rose she was carrying scratched my neck. I think she was trying to explain that she was about to place it in a vase on the shelf above, but I did not quite understand as I did not quite listen. I just stood there, realizing that the proverbial arrow, had found its mark!

Now, I have never believed in love at first sight, well, until that day, of course. She was breathtakingly beautiful and she took out a flowery kerchief to smother my neck. I did not say, it was fine, or I did not tell her, that the smothering was not necessary. Well, I just forgot to say that, and just about everything else in the world.

She then went back to her seat and started working and I was still there, lost. I came out of the trance when my boss walked in.

Boss to her: So have you met our new hire and hey, she is our receptionist.

She: Oh! I did, but did not realize he is the one.

Me: Well, I am.

Awkward silence! How is that for an ice breaker, jeez!

The days continued, with me learning about the work there, her work more than mine actually and I talked to her at every opportunity I had and I read about stuff like pop corn and cakes and flowers, because that is all she cared about. But can you blame me, with a face like that she could have talked about murder and crime I would have murdered someone just to keep up with her at those conversations. She talked about her girlfriends or rather friends who were girls, all the time and I also discovered she did not have a boy friend and that was it, there was no stopping me anymore. The game was ON!

She said she loooooved love stories and that was hard on me. I hate love stories, as a general rule, but did I have a choice, I went along reading whatever love story she was reading.

She was simple minded and I stopped having a mind of my own. She was a republican and George Bush became my favorite politician of all time. Her father was a veteran and I hit the gym although with little success. She loved to experiment and cook and I became her guinea pig. She was religious and I became her laughing Buddha. She said she loved my sense of humor and I knew that it won’t be long before she said, she loved me!

I knew I had to make the first move though. I had lost too many opportunities in the past by shying away from the first move. Not this time, not after spending 2 months of my life thinking about her, not after getting so close. So I did make the move. I went to her desk to ask her out on a date. She was looking at the phone intensely.

Me: uuuuh, hey! So, uh..

She got off her chair, came running towards me and hugged me. YES YES, I had won this time. Finally! So that is how it is. When you are really in love, in true love, the other person knows, you don’t have to tell her!

I was about to return her hug when I heard her in a broker voice, crying away…”Amanda….Amanda, my girlfriend broke up with me……..She….left!”

I just stood there, without returning the hug, so much for true love, so much for the other person knowing and so much for the term, girlfriend, at least now, I can get back to hating love stories.