The reader must know that as a kid I was confounded by Math so much that despite my pathetic artistic abilities, there was a time I contemplated a career in impressionistic and modern painting. I thought I could somehow manipulate people into believing weird, creepy shapes to be beautiful works of nature. Looking at modern art today, I think I might have done an exceptional job at it. Anyway, eventually I got around Math.
In case you did not get the cue, I learned what these words meant from the famous upstream and downstream problems in elementary algebra where you have to play around with speed, distance and time and as if it is too easy, also take into account the stupid running water.
7 or so years after my first encounter with the upstream problems……..
It was a very rainy day which was surprising considering that I am talking about Chennai. Sometimes, people get inspired by the rain especially when it is a rare phenomenon. So, I decided to enjoy the rain and my idea of enjoyment was to drive the highways of the city on my bike (motor bike). I did not have a license to drive and was still learning back then but come on, to hell with rules when it rains in a city where you sweat it out all through the year.
I was driving pretty well until my childhood memories came sprinting to me bettering Bolt’s records. I had to drive over a flyover that had an ugly uphill slope. I tried to keep my cool and drive normally imagining it to be a flat road. Well I did manage to imagine but my stupid piece-of-metal-bike lacked the imagination. And of course, the ever flowing traffic made it more difficult. The problems with my driving were more psychological than technical. On my way up, I managed to go down! For some reason after every two inches that the traffic moved up, I moved an inch backward first and two forward next managing a net gain of 1 inch.
I have heard of people speak about their tiers losing traction on slippery slopes. But I was better. My bike was fine, it was my legs that did not find the traction. The end result was that I was colliding with the vehicle behind me and the vehicle ahead of me every time the traffic moved. So my movement was essentially the result of spatial confinement rather my control over the bike. The other motorists looked at me in disbelief.
One college kid was so kind in suggesting me to try a career in gymnastics. One guy told me his 5 year old daughter could control her rocking horse better than I controlled my bike. Another middle-aged man reminded me that the city had public transport system designed especially for people like me. Two college girls were laughing their heads off and to top it all a baby found it so amusing that she was clapping as if it were a circus.
They were all maneuvering their way as far away from me as possible. Inch after painful, colliding, abuse-taking, inch I found my way to the flat road and my uphill climb was over.
I felt like Tim Robbins in “The Shaw shank Redemption” after getting to the top and feeling the rain against my face. I felt like Mel Gibson in “Brave heart” and had to try hard not to scream “FREEDOM!!” I felt like……
”Take out your license Mr. I have been watching the way you are driving and I am assuming you don’t have one.”
That is all it took for me come swooping back to the ground.
I paid whatever he asked for and drove back home giving a serious thought to a career in gymnastics.
